Bye Felicia: Less Drama In My Life
If there’s one thing I want less of in my life, it’s drama. I think most of us can agree on that fact. There’s nothing like drama to stir up the worst in me. I find when faced with excessive drama, I become more bitter, jaded, angry, mean, and a whole slew of other negative qualities. It’s a huge battle to stay loving.
As I’m working my way through a situation filled with drama, I’m actively writing this to help remind myself of a few core things. Realize that I’m no counselor or trained professional, and that these are reminders to me first and foremost. I do not have this whole thing figured out. Sometimes my inner thoughts about a situation are not the prettiest. I’m working on that. If you find yourself in the same boat, you’re in good company.
On forward, toward less drama!
- Remember you are not in control of other people’s actions. I can’t change someone, nor is it my job to. When dealing with drama, it can be good to remind yourself that you can’t control that person’s response or actions. That is their choice. Yes, you may have to still deal with what they do, but it’s not your job to carry guilt over something they chose to say or do.
- Say Bye Felicia. There have been people in my life that I have purposely distanced myself from because I know they cause drama. And, when someone stirs up trouble enough times, I quietly say to myself, “bye, Felicia.” It’s not that I’m not going to be polite to them or write them off, but I’m not going to go out of my way to bring their drama into my life.
- Push it away. I’ve visualized all the drama of a specific situation sitting on a floating raft and pushing it out to sea. I have to keep coming back to this of course, but that visualization can be helpful to say to yourself that you’re not going to get emotionally involved in the drama.
- Keep your eyes on your own paper. I can’t remember when I first heard this phrase used for life, but the concept is one we all know from elementary school. We are taught when taking tests or doing work in school, to focus on our own work. The concept applies well in real life: focus on the work I’m doing, and not on what others are doing. When faced with drama, I fight to focus on my own path. The more I do this, the less I stress about the other person, and the less I stir up mean feelings toward that person.
- Speak simply and succinctly. Be direct when you’re speaking in situations that are filled with drama. You don’t have to be mean about how you say it, but being direct, polite, and short, helps close it all down faster and gives others less to grab onto to turn into more drama.
- Be unoffendable. One of my favorite books is one named Unoffendable and sometimes I just need to pick it up and glance through it to remind myself to just let some things go. It’s not worth getting upset over.
- Be willing to apologize. You may have played a part in the drama and might need to apologize. Consider it.
- Love. Dramatic situations are opportunities for me to practice love, even for people that are difficult. Sometimes love looks like boundaries, and sometimes love looks like sacrificing myself.